Numero Uno

This is my first blog, first post, first venting, first bitching, first complaining on this "blogging" site. I never thought i'd get one of these. I haven't really blogged since Xanga, but come to think about it..I like writing down my feelings and whats going on. Sometimes it's nice to just WRITE and vent. Not necessarily for everyone to read but to have some sort of outlet.

Tomorrow is Obama's inauguration. Although I'm not a fan of him, Congrats to him. He has a lot to live up to, so we'll see what the next few years bring. It's going to be VERY interesting. I'm so tired of hearing about the inauguration and today was the first day I wacthed anything to do with it. Yes he is the first "African American" President, but I don't think it's any different then any other to be honest. I probably won't watch it, i'll more than likely be in class anyways.

Well, this is day...5? on my new medicines. I have good days and I have bad days. Today was an ok day. My medicine makes me sick sometimes and I went out running errands for my mom and over did myself. Missed Violin lessons and didn't call Shanka. She probably hates me for never calling when I miss. I'll call tomorrow though. I just hope I get well. I'm so tired of being sick. It's really talking a toll on me.

I'm going to try to start going to the Gym again. I've been wanting to get back on track, but this whole being sick thing is something that's really just taken a toll on me and it's just brought me down. I'm so uncomfortable with myself as a person. I know I shouldn't be. But it's something that I can't budge. WHY? WHY IS IT SO HARD? I see all these beautiful girls who carry themselves with such confidence.. but why can't I? I just get so self concscious about every little thing. Some things bigger then others and I always think people notice the things that make me so self conscious when they probably don't. But because of certain instances where maybe one or two people would say something, It just makes me believe that everyone sees all my flaws. I have huge insecurity issues and I HATE it.

I miss David, A LOT. Having someone so far away is so hard. I've never dealt with anything like this. But it's worth it and I know in the end it will all be worth it. At least that's all I can hope for. I know it's still fresh and still young, but it's something special and it's definitely something i've never felt before. I can't wait till I can see him again. Maybe I'll fly down there this weekend?! :D

Off to do some homework and start another week, WHOOPIE............................

Btw, this is my new favorite show:
"The Big Bang Theory"
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/big_bang_theory/video/video.php?cid=501654023&pid=Pw40r6MFIlPBLcnFxR5vUIf_5FELZ8_K&category=editorial&play=true